Santa Claus and his team of elves have to deliver billions of presents down chimneys on Christmas Day: a logistical task to rival projects like putting a man on the moon or organising the Olympic Games. Here are seven reasons why Santa doesn’t use MS Project for his project plotting.
1 – The Gantt Chart is too huge
Even breaking the project down into its smallest possible unit, there just wasn’t room to fit the Gantt chart onto the Lapland wall. The elves complained it blocked out all the light, and the resolution was so small it was hard to see anything.
2 – Resource Overkill
Microsoft Project is ideal for managing projects with multiple, but limited resources. For delivering the Christmas presents there is only really one resource – the huge man himself – so using MS Project would be overkill.
3 – Overcomplex Dependencies
How do you plot the dependencies for delivering houses in a single street, let alone throughout the world? Microsoft Project just couldn’t handle all the complicated relationships linking tasks (we’re not sure that Santa can either).
4 – Too Much Training Required
Elves excel at lots of things, but using Microsoft software isn’t one of them. In a examination installation of MS Project, it was found that most elves just couldn’t cope with the complexity of the software.
5 – Expense
The licensing costs for Microsoft Project are too onerous for Lapland to bear: the place runs on a shoestring. Santa is looking into getting hold of some open-source project management software.
6 – Hardware Spec
Microsoft Project really needs a powerful processor and lots of memory. The ZX Spectrum in Lapland just isn’t up to the job.
7 – No Magic
Santa feels that using Microsoft Project would take the magic out of Christmas (and like all else, he’s wary of being too dependent on a single software supplier).
So there you have it – the 7 reasons why Santa won’t be using MS Project this Christmas!